AIDS has been cured, but only on Mondays and Thursdays

The smallest country in Africa is this morning playing host to one of the longest queues on the continent, as hundreds of people line up for miracle cures for asthma and Aids, promised by the Gambian President.

Scientists have reacted with horror to a claim by President Yahya Jammeh that he can cure asthma on Fridays and Saturdays and HIV/Aids on Mondays and Thursdays. All patients need is a referral from a doctor and the willingness to queue up at State House in the capital, Banjul.

This is great news, not only for people with AIDS, but on Fridays and Saturdays the President will also cure Asthma. No word yet if people with both illnesses will have to queue up twice. When was the last time a Stephen Harper cured a disease?

For you non believers out there, it seems the ‘always truthful and completely trustworthy’ Iranians have also managed to cure AIDS

The Iranian government’s boasts of “great achievements” included an announcement on Saturday that Iranian scientists have “introduced an AIDS cure“.

“After seven long years of arduous work, Iranian scientists here on Saturday introduced a herbal medicine which cures Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS),” Fars reported.

“The drug named ‘IMOD’ is completely effective and safe with no proven side effects,” Iran’s Minister of Health Kamran Bagheri Lankarani claimed during a ceremony.

Iran even one-upped Gambia as it seems their cure works every day of the week.

If only western medicine could catch up.

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